Stressing out

Mood: stress out.

I felt heck a lot of pressure at work and home.
If I didn't want to eat, don't pressure me to eat. It will end up on the garbage can. Did she ever see me work? I work non stop and have no time to rest. she got upset with me and asked me to go buy when your off work.
Please stop the calls.

Meaning of life.

When I quiet down, I look outside my window and stare at the sky. The sky is like a face. It brings out sun when is nice. It brings out the rain when it's sad. It brings out thunder when it's moody.
I wish I don't exist.

This Saturday, I was upset that my brother called me lazy. I thought staying in queens will make me happier and calmer but it gave me more stress.

On Sunday, my mom were yelling at me for buying so much snacks. Yelling at me for every little things.

I hide in my room and hoping this world ends my life today. So my brain dies down and I don't have to cry no more.

Weather is horrible

The weather was horrible for the past few days. It was raining for more than four days. Bring out the sunshine already. I can't stand the damn rain.

I was bidding on the monster cable pro headphones the other day and I didn't win the auction. I have to buy the headphones of else i lose 300. I will keep it and use it when I want to watch movies on my iPod. It should be coming soon.

Family argument

Mood: upset & frustrated.

My mom is being pissed after coming back from the cruise trip. I will understand why she is pissed. Our bathroom pipe from the ceiling had a dirty water leak and my dad keeps eating instant noodles when we were away. The fridge were piling up with leftover food before our cruise trip and no one touched them. My mom have to throw out the food after.
Yesterday my brother got upset and frustrated because mom got mad all of the sudden. I never seen my brother this mad. He threw his cell phone and threw the table across the room.
I know why my mom is upset because the kids were sick again. They are coughing like crazy and Damien had a fever today. my mom is right. The kids kept on coughing and keeps getting sick after a month.
I hope my family will get along. I don't want to hear them argue anymore. I hope they can drop the argument.
I hope the two boys and Leann will get better soon.

Mood: Seasick

Mood: Seasick

I came back from the Royal Caribbean Cruise and I was not feeling so well these days. I felt everything is spinning and cant walk properly. After we left Bermuda on Tuesday, the weather was horrible and the ship is not stable. It goes up and down and left to right. Me & my mom were so close to throw up after we left the island but hey, we had fun. We enjoyed the jet ski and I almost fell off the water driving over 12mph. I am planning another one on September 2012. 

Pictures posted later. Let me rest a bit.

Excited...

Mood: excited.

I'm very excited. I will be going on the cruise tomorrow but I was wondering how am I going to get home when I have no one to pick me up. After I come back from cruise, I will re-take the driving exam.

Men are disguisting.

Mood: Excited & tired

I am tired and hates sneezing. I kept sneezing today. I got to get out of New York and give my nose a break from sneezing and sniffing.

*I'm in a mood to write today*

I was walking my way to Starbucks. I saw a bunch of men were pretty much drunk. One dude had his dick out and pee at the sidewalk. He saw me passing through him and hid his dick in his pants. God, men are disgusting. Find a bathroom and pee there. Jesus Christ. I got to get my eyes clean tonight. Where are the manners? I can't get that moment out of my head. I will have a hard time sleeping tonight.

Topic: What do you bring when you go out?

Mood: Happy and Sleepy.


What do you bring when you go out?
When I go to school, I will use my Longchamp black tote bag and is big enough to carry my notebook, pen, makeup bag and my iPad. The bag is about to break on the corners and is about time for me to buy a new one.

For regular occasions, I will use my gucci bum bag to put my keys, wallet, pack of tissue and my iPhone. I'm a fanny pack fan. Can't live without it. I'm also a collector of fanny packs: I had two gucci fanny pack, Louis Vuitton fanny pack and Pink Dior fanny pack.

Bermuda Trip

Mood: Happy
Countdown: 3 days and a half.

The day is about to come. I am going on a cruise with my mom this weekend. I can't wait. I waited for this trip over a year. Three more days, I will be on a cruise for a week relaxing and getting my nice dark tan. I will be snorkeling and swimming a lot. A lot of pictures will be taken for this matter. This is something worth remembering. I hardly go on trips and this is my opportunity to take a week off from work to get myself relaxed and forget all the bad memories.

I will post more soon. :]

:[

When I am sad, I always wanted to jock it down and remember the day. Im scared that I will forget this day. I will come here to write everything I need to say.

Weather: Raining.
The weather is horrible today and my mood feels the same. I went to see a doctor and I have a throat infection. I got myself some antibiotics. When I saw the jar, I wish I can swallow everything and died alone by the stairs near my apartment. I'm alone in my room crying and upset. Only my 80 years old Grandma will care for me. My mom doesn't respond anything back to me but I'm sure she's yelling at me on her mind. I wish I never existed.

:[

Listening to: Michael Wong - Fairytale

I am very tired from work. I had a lot of fun at work. I hear jokes and I laugh till I lost my voice today. After coming home:

Is so sad that you can't find any family member who understands you or listen to you. I inform my mom that they may install webcam on my monitor to see my performance. My mom were upset and told me to go to work. I told her many times that I want to stay at home to avoid drama and rumors. she doesn't listen to me but keeps complaining. Where are my voices? Where is my courage? Where is me? I don't stand anywhere in this place. I'm even smaller than a bug or maybe I don't exist at all. I talk back at her and said I pay rent here and I can't stay here at my own home. This job pays rent. Everyone in my family thinks I'm wrong after saying it. How come they never think from my side? I will be monitor with a webcam for 9 hours and im the one who suffering and upset. No one cared. I see why I want to be single and alone. Just to avoid arguments and drama. More freedom.

I'm tired and I'm sick. My voice changed.
I hope I can find myself somewhere. I hope I can find my courage and pride back.
This is the longest saddest blog I ever written. I hope I can overcome this by tomorrow.

Sorry for abandoning you.

I'm sorry Bloggy for abandoning you for a long time. I didn't know what to write or the day I'm going through is not interesting for me to jock it down at all
Bloggy, you probably think I am a boring person who works at home and then stay home to play with my nephews. I don't have much friends or a relationship that brighten my life. I will try to write this blog and keep you entertained Bloggy.

I am at Starbucks enjoying my iced white chocolate mocha. First, came up my mind was the shiny black jumbo Chanel handbag that I wanted. oh man. I am saving 20 dollars everyday to get the Chanel bag I wanted. That handbag will cost me 3k included tax. I have a long way to go. I have the cash with me to get the handbag but I don't want to use up my savings right away to get it. I will save it up slowly to get what I wanted.

60 / 3000 dollars. :[

My Angry Mom

My mom is mad at the whole family for over 3 days for silly things. She is mad that my brother is taking the kids to Mexico when is meant for kids. Mom doesnt want them to take the plane when they are so young. I dont understand them at all. She wants the kids to go on trips and now she doesn't. She took back her words. 
She told me that she is fair. She will help me raise two kids in the future. I dont think so. I rather not have kids and if I do, i will not get her involved. She complaints and mad at all of us when she have a bad day.